Hormonal Wolves
by YoGurlB
Summary: Leah deals with a pack of horny teen wolves. How fun...
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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I truly despise the male gender. Especially males that are horny hormonal wolf boys. My hate for males only got worse when I became the only female shape-shifter. My boobs seem to get bigger, my legs longer and thicker, and my abs were stone hard and defined. Any girl would kill for my body and I would kill to get rid of it. The boys were always talking about my ass or my boobs. Paul refers to my boobs as ' big watermelons' and Quil calls them ' jugs'. After hearing that ten times a day, every day, I want to punch the living daylights out of them. Sam often growls under his breath or throws objects at them when they talk about my body. He never goes Alpha command on them or anything, probably because he is thinking the same things they are thinking. I even caught him snickering when Embry threw a fry at me and it landed between my breast. If Emily was still my best friend, I would at least have someone to hang out with that didn't have a third leg.

Don't get me started on Jacob; he was not so bad when he wasn't around the other boys. Of course he is extra hormonal ever since Bella ditched him and went along marrying her ice prick Edward. He had gotten worse at the sex jokes and amused the other when making comments about my body. Seth was always trying to take up for me, but failed whenever the guys teased him about not having an imprint. We decided to join the two packs after the epic battle with the Volturi ( Hint: Absolute sarcasm), which turned out to be the worst mistake ever. Sam and Jacob kind of shared Alpha position, but I don't even think that's possible. It's supposed to be only one Alpha, but who follows rules anymore? Me and Paul share Beta position, worst idea in idea history. Two hotheads in a position of authority equals countless fights and the risk of someone loosing a limb. I don't how many times pack mates had to pull us away from each other before someone died.

" Leah hand me the remote," Embry said with his feet propped up on the coffee table. He had that dumb boyish grin on his face that I wanted to slap off.

" You have two hands get it your damn self," I said not looking up from my magazine. Don't you hate when people ask you to hand them something that is closer to them than to you? Mostly older people do it, but it is even more annoying when someone not on the brink of being on a walker does it.

" Ugh Lee please, I don't feel like getting up," Embry whined. I threw the magazine down and got up to get the remote. Embry smiled as I bent over to retrieve the remote. His smiled instantly disappeared when I threw the remote at his head. " Ouch!"

" Like I said you could have gotten it yourself," I snapped and sat back down.

" Play nice you two," Jacob said coming into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. I swear these boys were going to eat me out of my place. I had moved into an apartment recently and this was the new hang out spot. Jacob plopped down next to me and put his hand on my thigh. " Whatcha doin?" He asked in that annoying voice that kids use when they are trying to be nosy.

" Minding my own business like maybe you should be doing," I said turning the page. I spotted these cute hot pink pumps that would definitely go with my black dress with the hot pink belt. Too bad I never got to actually be a girl anymore. I used to wear make-up and wear little dresses and heels. That was before I grew 5 inches and was forced to run around with these damn boys. Sam and Paul came through the front door with grocery bags in their hands.

" We got some more milk," Sam said holding up the sack in his hand. I nodded in his direction and went back to looking at my magazine.

" Hey you are reading Vogue? Since when do you read girly stuff," Jacob asked snatching the magazine from me. " Whoa look at her legs."

" Give me back my magazine dork," I said trying to grab the magazine. Jacob held it up out of my reach and was amused by me trying to get it. I tackled him down to the couch and ended up on top of him.

" Fucking is for the bedroom," Paul said coming into the living room with a bag of chips.

" Come on Paul, really," Seth said changing the channel to the television. " You had sex with Rachel in a public restroom."

" What!" Jacob pushed me off of him and stood up. Seth smiled in triumph because he knew he was starting something.

" I know not to tell you anything else Seth. Damn," Paul shook his head. Jacob smacked Paul in the back of the head. Paul growled and stood up ready to tackle Jacob.

" Hell no, take it outside! You will not ruin my apartment," I stated stepping in between the two. Paul pushed me aside and stepped towards Jacob.

" Don't push me," I pushed Paul back causing him to growl at me.

" Move Leah,' Paul yelled attempting to push me again but Jacob stepped in between us.

" Don't touch my beta," he warned Paul.

" I'm beta too dumb ass," Paul replied. Jared picked up Paul's chips and began munching on them. He was watching us like we were a movie.

" Jerry, Jerry, Jerry," Jared chanted and then the three stooges had to join him ( Quil, Embry, and Seth).

" You are Sam's beta and she is mine," Jacob said pointing at me.

" Excuse me but I belong to Leah LeAnne Clearwater, not you Black," I exclaimed. We were all yelling at each other before Sam came into the living room.

" Hey cut it out," Sam yelled. We all stopped and looked at him and then turned back to yell at each other. We yelled for another two minutes and then stopped due to the kick I gave Paul to the groin. He rolled around on the floor and Jacob began to taunt him. I sat back on the couch and went back to reading my magazine.

" Damn look at her chest, it looks like she is hiding midgets in there," Quil said looking at the television. I looked up and seen this girl getting interviewed at one of those runway shows. She looked like a Victoria Secrets model.

"No her boobs are no where as big as Leah's," Embry said. I got up and punched him in the chest.

" Shut the hell up," I yelled between punches.

" The sexual remarks about my sister have to stop," Seth said as he pulled me away from Embry. Sam was covering his mouth trying not to laugh. I glared at him and sat back down on the couch.

" And Sam you shouldn't be laughing. You should only be focused on Emily's little mosquito bite tits," I replied. The room filled with roars of laughter. Sam's face turned cold and he got up and went back to the kitchen.

" But you have to admit Leah has melons to Emily's grapes," Jared said eating more chips. I threw my magazine at him and stomped off to my room. I heard Sam yelling at Jared. Ugh, stupid hormonal teen werewolves.

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**Hope you liked this little one-shot. I don't know if it is possible for a pack to have two Alphas or Betas but we won't get all technical, at least I won't. This one-shot was purely for fun and enjoyment. Reviews make my day! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! This was supposed to be a one-shot but I am turning it into a mini-one-shot series. The one-shots will all relate to each other, sort of like a mini-story. I was going to attempt to write each one-shot from a different viewpoint, but that didn't turn out well. I think my strongest viewpoint is Leah's I relate to her more. So here is chapter two, hope you enjoy!**

**I do not own Twilight or the characters! I wish I owned Taylor Lautner (not in a possessive way lol), did ya'll see him in that tux at the Oscars, oh hot damn. My grandma even has the hots for him now. Ha ha! Ok enough of my rambling.**

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Being horny sucks major cow ass. Being horny with a whole pack of horny boys in your brain, priceless. So you have seen the ways that these guys practically ruin my life daily. Any girl would probably love to be in a pack of half naked boys any day, but I absolutely it. If they weren't talking about how much they wanted to bang Megan Fox, they would be comparing her body to mines. I in no way should be compared to Megan Fox, she had way more sex appeal. If you call short tangled jet black hair, short Soffe shorts, and a tank sexy, well you would be talking about me. And in my opinion you are crazy. Anyways, here I am sitting in my room, relaxing for a change. Ugh, why do they have to show these major, over exaggerated make-out scenes on daytime television? Why did the guy that this average looking girl was sucking lips with have to be so hot? I rolled my eyes and turned off the soft porn.

" Leah, do you have any more cookies n cream ice cream," I heard Seth call out behind my door. What did he mean any more ice cream? I know those little cunt licking crumb snatchers didn't eat my ice cream. Ahhh!

" What do you mean any more," I asked as I opened my door. I spotted my tub of cookies n cream ice cream on coffee table, empty. " Who the fuck ate my ice cream?" I walked into the living room and snatched up the empty container. Paul snickered and hid a wooden spoon behind his back. Embry and Quil covered their mouths while Jacob had a dumb expression on his face.

" Ok, somebody is about to die," I said taking a deep breath. " Who is the suspect." They all just sat silent. " Someone better step up or I'm swinging on the person that is closest to me." Paul just so happened to be the one right beside me. Good, I wanted to knock the living daylights out of him anyway.

" Don't even think about it Clearwater. I wasn't the only one, they all helped," Paul pointed to everyone around the room.

" But you have the biggest spoon you douche. You all are going to buy me some more ice cream. I didn't even get any," I said plopping on the couch.

" Are you wearing a bra," Quil asked me looking down at my boobs. I turned and glared at him, my look probably burning holes in his skin.

" Why do you ask," I asked through closed teeth.

" Your chest bounced really high when you plopped down like that," Quil replied. The room filled with annoying howls of laughter. I hit Quil across the face with a closed fist.

" Hey I was just wondering."

" Watch it Quil or my fist will be meeting your face," Seth warned.

" Why must you all always talk about my body? What if I told you that you had a small penis," I pointed at Paul that was licking the wooden spoon.

" Hey ask Rachel-"

" Paul this will be your dying day if you finish that sentence," Jacob warned. I smiled and noticed that Sam was gone.

" Where did Sam run off to," I asked Jacob

" Oh he ran home to see Emily. She called again," Jacob replied. Emily was calling Sam more and more when he was away from her. I don't know if she didn't like the idea of him being at my place or what, she would just keep calling and calling. What the imprint wants the imprint gets, so of course Sam went running to her side. He was never that way with me; if I called as many times as she did, he would stop answering. I wouldn't blame him though, there is nothing more annoying than a person that suffocates you.

" Wow, she just doesn't stop huh." I said.

" We are going to get you more ice cream," Embry said standing up.

" Don't get that off brand crap either, I want real oreos in my ice cream," I exclaimed. They all nodded and walked out the door, leaving me and Jacob alone.

" You must be so difficult all the time," Jacob said flipping the channel. He stopped on some action show with crappy acting.

" Well you ate my ice cream. I'm not difficult, I just have good taste," I said.

" Humph." I glared at Jacob and playfully punched his arm.

" You should have went with them. I would like to spend time alone sometimes," I said snatching the remote from Jacob.

" You know you would miss me terribly." Jacob snatched the remote back from me.

" You know it's my house and my television douche," I replied taking the remote back. I flipped to a soap opera, something with decent acting.

" I never understand why people kiss like that one TV. It's so fake looking, they don't even look passionate," Jacob said referring to the young couple swapping spit.

" I know and look he's not even a good kisser. He's practically sucking her face off."

" Shut up Clearwater, you act like you are the kissing expert."

" Oh so just grabbing people and kissing them is the right thing to do? And oh wait then you get punched in the face. Yep that's how you do it," I laughed.

" Trust me I'm a good kisser."

" Pleeease Jake, you have a lot to learn," I replied.

" You are acting like you have kissed me before or something."

" I don't have to in order to know how naïve your kisses are." Jacob glared at me.

" Just because I'm young doesn't mean anything."

" Yea wh-" My words were cut off by Jacob's lips. His lips were soft and the kiss was rough. What the hell, why am I kissing him back? We finally broke away from each other.

" Damn," I said turning back to the TV.

" That's an understatement," Jacob replied.

" We will act like that never happened." Jacob nodded his head and we went back to watching soap operas.

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**A little Blackwater action for you! I just had to throw that random kiss in there. I think if the books continued Jacob and Leah would have this type of relationship. One of those friendships where it is okay to do things like kiss (and never tell) even if he imprinted on Nessie. But I am not going to link them romantically in this story. Reviews are lovely! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews! Thanks for putting this story on your alerts and favorites list! I am glad you all like this mini-story. So here is the last chapter…**

**I do not own Twilight or the characters. If I did I would not be at home for spring break. **

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I finally got my ice cream, all to myself. I tortured the boys by eating it right in front of them. Jacob and I had not spoken of the kiss and no one had any clue that we had sucked faces.

" Can I at least have a bite," Embry asked.

" You helped eat the whole other container. Here you can have this," I handed him the top with melted ice cream in it. Embry sighed and fell back on the couch.

" Do you have to eat that so sensually," Quil asked me. Was it me or did Quil always think about sex? Imprinting on a child was not helping his sex life at all.

" Quil why don't you go find a giant dildo or something," I replied continuing to eat my ice cream.

" I'm a boy-"

" So they say. Boys don't play with Barbies," Paul said, slapping his knee in laughter.

" Hey I play the Ken doll okay. Claire cries every time I say I won't play," Quil said in defense of himself. His mini rant did not help the situation, it only made all of us laugh harder.

" Wow Quil, you are the lady's man," Embry replied.

"Shut up," Quil crossed his arms and started to pout. Finally the attention was off of me for a while.

" Hey turn it back," Jacob yelled as Seth flipped through the channels. Seth turned it back and I should have known why Jacob wanted it turned back, Tyra Banks was on. Jacob had a big time crush on Tyra, her long legs and curvy body was a huge turn on for him.

"Really? We are going to watch The Tyra show? I really hope you don't watch this when you are alone," Paul scrunched his nose up at Jacob's infatuation.

" Hey don't talk about Tyra. She is a real woman," Jacob said flipping off Paul. I hope this argument continued, they could talk about another woman for once. So this just left me and my ice cream in peace, without horny little wolf boys on my case.

" What the fuck," Embry said his jaw dropping to the floor. " Did she just say she had two vaginas?"

I put my ice cream down and started to pay attention to the television. There was some lady on there reporting that she had two vaginas.

" Leah is that normal," Seth asked me his face turned down in disgust.

" Hell if I know, I only have one," I replied.

" Ew two periods, okay please turn this," Jacob covered his ears. " I just wanted to look at Tyra, not hear about two vaginas."

All the boys were completely disgusted by the girl with two vaginas. I laughed at their faces as Seth hurried to turn to a different channel. You would think that would turn them on, but it freaked them out.

" That isn't a turn on for you guys. That means two guys could f-" I started but was interrupted by Embry.

" Leah!"

" You are telling me you guys are not a little turned on by that? Come on," I said laughing. " Awwww, are you guys scarred for life?" I could finally pick on them about something.

" She was a mutant," Paul said. " I'm glad Rachel only-"

" Paul!" Jacob yelled. "You are really close to getting your ass beat."

" Aw shut up Jacob. We already know you've screwed Leah, you don't see Seth complaining about that," Paul replied.

" What!" Seth and I yelled at the same time.

" Whoa you and Clearwater," Embry asked with this dumb grin on his face.

" Jacob and I have done nothing for your information. You are about to receive an ass whooping from both of us," I said getting up walking towards Paul.

Seth held me back and led me back to my seat. That was the second time today that I was close to decking Paul. By the time I sat down, Jacob and Paul were already rolling around on the floor. Jacob had gotten at least ten punches in before Paul could blink an eye.

" Hey you all will not ruin my place," I yelled.

The fight finally stopped after I about killed them both for almost breaking my coffee table. The little crumb snatchers had the nerve to get blood on my carpet.

" You will clean this up," I said pointing to the dark red spots on my carpet.

" But Leah did you really screw Jake," Quil asked after we were all silent after a while.

" Ugh no," Jacob replied before I did.

" Well why is his scent all over you? Something happened while we were gone huh," Embry asked. I looked at Jacob with wide eyes, his face was a reflection of mine. Damn!

" Aww shoot Leah finally got her some," Paul said pumping his fist in the air. Seth groaned and fell back on the couch. I covered my red face and Jacob continued to threaten Paul.

This is my life as Leah Clearwater. I am stuck with a pack of horny, repulsive, immature, giant, wolf boys. Could life get any worse?

**The End!**

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**So that's it for Hormonal Wolves. It was meant to be a short story because I didn't think the story line was strong enough to carry on forever. The Tyra Show idea came directly from the Tyra Show. She really did have a lady on there that said she had two vaginas. Weird right? Hope you all enjoyed it, I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for all the reviews and such, I really appreciate everything! **


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